Cohenese

So at this point, I'm not even sure that you can refer to this as a blog since I am now averaging one post every THREE months!!!  But in my last (first and only) post, I promised not to post anything "unless it's really good"...and so as promised, I have more funny stories from my sweet little comedian!

The title Cohenese (which Jeff read and pronounced as Cohenesis...he thought it was hilarious but I'm not sure what that would even mean) refers to my son's current vocabulary.  I have convinced myself that my child is so gifted and finds the English language so dull and boring that he has created his own words and phrases.  Below is the "Rosetta Stone" for Cohenese!

Da-Da Baby:  Cohen no longer refers to Jeff as just "da-da"...he is now formally known as Da-Da Baby which I think has evolved from Da-Da B.  This would be extremely cute if not for the fact that he refers to me as Ma-Ma No.  I feel that this has some sort of reference to our parenting methods!

Co-Co = Cohen...Of course.  Despite my best efforts Cohen has embraced the nickname that his dad and grandpa have given him.  Every time I hear Co-Co I think about the gorilla who learned sign language.  Jeff has since educated me about a wrestler from the 1980s named KoKo B. Ware.  And so now when I ask my child what his name is and he says Co-Co, this is the image that flashes in my head:

Habbie = Howie...Cohen stays with Jeff parents four days a week and they have a crazy Pug named Abby.  Abby was one of Cohen's very first words and he often referred to me as Abby before he could say MaMa!  It really warms a mother's heart when her child refers to her and her dog by the same name, since poor Howie was called Abby as well.  This has since evolved from Abby to Habbie, however when prounounced it often sounds like Habib...our sweet Middle Eastern lab!

Diddy = Star...Blatantly obvious right?  This one has been ingrained in his vocabulary since at least nine months of age.  Jeff thinks it's logical because "P. Diddy is a star."  This is more a matter of opinion I feel.

See MoonADiddy = "I want to see moon and stars"....Just this weekend I've started to notice Cohen using a few two-word sentences - When pronounced in Cohenese, this sounds like two words although I guess on paper it's really more.  For Christmas, Cohen's MiMi got him a turtle that projects a moon and stars onto the ceiling and so See MoonADiddy (often abbreviated to just MoonADiddy) is basically his job these days!

Ho-Ho=Flower...You thought I was going to say Santa, huh?  This is ocasionally pronounced as O-Ho and can also refer to a feather that resembles a flower.

Ah-too=Snowman and Santa...This can be used interchangably to refer to either a snowman or Santa.  When pronounced it sounds somewhat like a sneeze and somewhat like a possible Indian name.

Ammie=Meow...No matter how many times he hears "meow," "ammie" is always what comes out.  When pronounced this sounds like a word that rhymes with grammy.

Dibbie=Pacifier...Since the first week of Cohen's life when I "accidentally" created a paci monster, I have refused to give the thing a cute name because I had hoped that it would lose its appeal.  But it remains Cohen's prized possession and he gave it the name Dibbie around the time of his first birthday.  This can also be pronounced as DB.

My advanced baby does find some of the English words to be acceptable, but likes to "remix" them as well.  He currently refers to a cat as a "kit-kit," a dog as a "pup-pup" and a car as a "car-car."  Ducks say "qak qak" and birds say "teet, teet."  Here's some rare live footage of Cohenese...you may need to refer back to this list for translation:

Just like three months ago, Cohen is still keeping us smiling.  If I blogged every time he made me laugh out loud, I'd never have time to do anything else...and this is how I excuse the neglect of my blog!!  New Years Resolution = one blog per month!!

Hot Baby

So I can see how the title of the blog could be misleading and I guess some people could be diappointed if they end up here accidentally!!  Since my life basically revolves around my baby boy, I imagine that most of my posts will be about the funny things he does and says and "hot baby" is just one of them...but more about that later!  The people who know me best can tell you that one of my best, worst and most annoying qualities is the fact that I am a perfectionist.  Unfortunately, I fall short in the area of technology and computers so the fact that I would even attempt a blog is almost ridiculous!  So I'll do my best and those of you who "follow" my blog will either get to laugh at my posts or laugh at my lack of computer skills...either way I hope you laugh!  Those who follow my blog will need to have a few qualifications....mainly spare time and patience.  I tend to ramble and I warn you that I remember seeing red ink on many papers and projects in school with the words "be more concise" or "too wordy."  In real life, I am a very quiet person - I'm not a fan of people who talk just to hear themselves talk and I would rather wait until I have something really good to say.  So just like in real life, I promise not to post anything unless it's really good - it might take me awhile to get to it, but there will always be a point and so it will hopefully be worth the wait.  And obviously my very first post is a good example!!

So back to that one hot baby!  Since Cohen was born 17 months ago, my days, minutes and seconds have consisted of finding ways to make him smile and laugh.  He is now beginning to return the favor because there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't make us smile and laugh!  In my book, this means that we are raising him right because I consider these to be two of the most important things in life.  I rarely take anything seriously...I do not believe in "drama"...I can't stand Eyore from Winne the Pooh...I was voted "Prettiest Smile" in my senior class...one of my favorite quotes of all times is from Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias:  "Smile - it increases your face value."  So following in my footsteps, here are some of the ways that Cohen is currently make us smile....

"Hot baby":  Cohen stays with Jeff's parents four days a week.  When Cohen tries to touch things that could burn him like the stove, Jeff's mom says "hot burn the baby."  Cohen has abbreviated this to "hot baby" which he now says many times a day...things like pots on the stove, nuggets out of the microwave and the bath water are all "hot baby!"

"Da-da" confusion:  For a few months now, Cohen has referred to any man that he encounters as "da-da."  This had included Cee-Lo Green, a Neo-Nazi on Gangland and, most recently, Taye Diggs.  You can imagine how awkward this "da-da" confusion can be in public when Jeff is not with us!  Besides being unsure as to who is "real" da-da is, Cohen now seems to be confused as to what he should call Jeff.  This week he has started calling him "Da-Da B," which at times is also pronounced as "Dadaby" and sounds similar to wallaby.  We really have no idea where this came from or what it means, but I told Jeff that it's because Cohen has another da-da and his name is "Da-Da A"....Jeff was not amused!!

I hope you'll stay tuned for more funny stories from my sweet little comedian!