I Cool (January 28 - February 11)

Once upon a time we had a six month old baby that we could lay down in the evening and he would sleep straight through the night until at least 5:30 the next morning.  Then one day when he was 13 months old there was an evil vacation monster who took our sleep trained baby away and never brought him back!  Yes, almost every night since July, Jeff and I have been taking turns sleeping in the recliner with Cohen on our chest.  I also blame the evil Internet monster for stealing our sleep, since after way too much reading, I determined that Cohen was possibly having nightmares.  I was very susceptible with my lack of sleep, and I failed to consider the fact that Cohen would lay in his bed and scream (never opening his eyes or moving) until one of us came in and picked him up...however, as soon as he was laying on one of us, he went RIGHT back to sleep.  So after six months of sleep walking, we finally decided that it was time to re-train him...3 days later we were the proud owner of a 20 month-old boy that we could lay down at 7:45 in the evening until 6 or 7 the next morning!  Victory would taste so much sweeter if it wasn't so obvious who is in control of this house!

So February 3rd was pretty historic for this mom.  I think I had become the boy who cried wolf when it came to telling people that I wanted to cut my hair and no one believed that I would actually ever do it...not even me!  When I asked my boss' wife for her hair lady's number, she basically took matters into her own hands and made the appointment herself.  She's just the kind of bully I need in my life!  During the three weeks I had to wait for the appointment I had many second thoughts, but when that Friday rolled around, I sat down in the chair and never looked back...here's what happened:

The style I picked

The before

ELEVEN inches later - now that's a rattail!

The finished product

Haircuts were kind of the theme of the weekend since we also took Cohen to be tortured...I assure you that's what everyone in VIP Styling Center thinks we are doing to our child when we bring him there.  There are definately no pictures from that event and leaving with hair that is even a centimeter shorter means that me, Jeff, and Cohen's personal stylist Shantelle have endured a hard fought battle!  We made sure to have lots of fun for the rest of the day to help Cohen cope with the tragedy!  We made a return visit to the indoor inflatable center, this time with Jeff's friend Billy and his son Jayden who is just a few months younger than Cohen.  Unfortunately, Jayden was not as impressed with the inflatables as Cohen was and he spent more time getting out of them than getting into them!  Jeff was so impressed when Cohen even conquered the big kid inflatable obstacle course that we were sure that we would have to recuse him from...I'm pretty sure he was trying to show off for a little girl who was in the obstacle course with him!  Cohen actually seemed to enjoy having dinner out at Five Guys with our friend Anthony that evening...he wasn't hating the ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery afterwards either and I think he got a bite from everyone's bowl at the table!

We were hoping for enough snow this past weekend to be able to take Cohen's sled out for the first time.  Instead we just got just enough to make the roads so icy that we couldn't make it all the way out of our road on Saturday morning...Cohen was very confused as to why we were turning around and was upset that we were not going "bye-bye."  When we were finally able to make it out later, we took Howie to the vet (where Cohen wanted to pet all the little "pup pups") and then went to eat Mexican with my family.  I think it may have been Cohen's first Mexican experience, but he didn't get too authentic besides some tortilla chips.  It was another suprisingly well-tolerated restaurant trip by Cohen, which could have had more to do with his MiMi being there! 

We attempted a mall trip on Sunday - this is another form of torture for our child.  This time we tried renting one of the cars at the mall for him to ride in instead of his stroller, but the excitement wore off basically as soon as he was strapped in.  To reward him for staying in his seat while we shopped for a few hours, we got $5 worth of quarters so he could ride all of the "amazing" toys that they stragecially position at the entrance/exit of the mall.  We usually try to avoid this pit of destruction at all costs, because whether he gets to ride the toys or he doesn't, there will always be a tantrum involved.  And this one was definately some of his best work!!

Although our weekends sound pretty boring, we get all the entertainment we need from our little boy.  One of his new favorite things is sitting at the table like a big boy, although when he is going to be doing serious eating he still prefers his high chair! 

He thinks it's so amazing that he can walk over to Jeff or I, grab our hand or fingers and lead us to where he wants to go.  He loves to put on ma-ma or da-da's shoes and try to walk in them.  This does not always work out well!

He does A LOT of dancing. 

And the funniest thing that he just started last week is saying "I cool" when he is wearing a hat or sunglasses.

Here are just a few of the other things Cohen is doing to entertain us this month:

Saturday morning "breakfast" with Da-Da

Nothing says nutrition like powdered sugar!

Learning to color - only a few stray marks on the floor!

Building trains

Of course ma-ma thinks this is the next Bill Gates!

And then there's this work!

"Da-Da you forgot your magazine!"

Uh-oh (Weeks of January 15-21 and 22-28)

Uh-oh...mommy already dropped the ball on her blogging resolution.  Uh-oh is actually one of Cohen's favorite words right now, so I feel that it's a very appropriate time to use it!  Cohen says uh-oh anytime he sees an accident, especially ones on TV.  Anytime a football player gets tackled or otherwise falls to the ground, it's an uh-oh.  My favorite is a Subway commercial where the people are apparently so fat that buttons blow off of their pants and they pop intertubes when they sit on them...those are all big uh-ohs!  And when Cohen says uh-oh, everyone has to say uh-oh or it will be on repeat until someone does!  Repeating is currently a common theme in our house and we hear a lot of "uh mama, uh mama, uh mama, uh mama" and "uh dada, uh dada, uh dada, uh dada."  Cohen has recently started calling us mommy and daddy on occasion...he started this all on his own and while it sounds adorable, it makes me a little sad because I feel like it starts a general progression to a time when my son will call me mom.  A lot of our time at home these days seems to be devoted to finding Cohen's milk cup....he LOVES some milk and takes his cup with him everywhere.  The problem occurs when he can't remember where he lays it down.  We then hear "uh mulk, uh mulk, uh mulk, uh mulk" until it is located, but it's totally worth it when he finally finds it and says "Hi Milk!!"  This morning we spent at least five minutes turning the house upside down to find the cup so he could take it with him in the car...we ended up sending a different cup with him in the end.  I found the cup later when I opened the door... to the laundry closet!

Last weekend Cohen and I got a visit from our best friends Sarah and Ben.  Cohen and Ben have not yet figured out that they are destined to be best friends, though!  Sarah and I spent the weekend as single moms while our husbands advertised their fishing business at the annual hunting and fishing show in Charleston.  We did see glimpses of potential friendship from the two boys, but usually not long enough for photo or video evidence.  I would have loved to have a picture of the two of them riding together on Cohen's spring horse to use as blackmail when they get older.  Especially the injury and tears that resulted when they both fell off!  Ben spent most of the weekend showing Cohen some death-defying stunts like jumping off of the couch into the Mickey Mouse ball pit.  Cohen spent most of the weekend crying and hiding from Ben after we witnessed Ben squeezing his fingers in the car and later pushing him down when we got home.  I think one day Ben will explain to Cohen that he was just trying to teach him the ways of the world, so that he could grow up to be tough and defend himself!  We took the boys to use up some energy at the Chik Fil A playplace and then to see their dad's in action at the hunting and fishing show.  Cohen was excited to see all the deer there, but Ben was not too impressed with the whole idea.  The show was a huge success for FYAO, with lots of sells and interest in the company...Jeff's still getting calls from customers this week!  Sarah and I spent most of our weekend planning trips for our families for the rest of the year, including our second annual family vacation to Lake Norman.  So even though I was sad to see them go on Sunday, I knew that there are lots more fun times to look forward to!

Chik Fil A playplace = germs = cold.... for babies who stay at home with their grandparents every day anyway.  So our little man was sick by Monday morning.  Fortunately, this one wasn't too bad and hasn't lasted too long.  We've survived with Vicks VapoRub and a humidifier.  Cohen was well enough on Friday to see his Aunt Manda who was in from Virginia and also to visit his Grammy and Pa.  Cohen and his cousin Harper shared some toys there, but mostly ate all of the food at their great-grandma and great-grandpa's house including a brownie from Pa's secret stash, crackers and mass quantities of cheese popcorn!  Cohen was very interested in Harper's baby sister Scarlett and demanded that she be taken out of her carrier.  Once this happened, though, it wasn't clear if he actually wanted to see the baby or to have her out of the carrier so he get in it/play with her toys!

I think I may have been infected with whatever virus caused Cohen's cold because I was literally exhausted all day on Saturday...no cold symptoms, just exhaustion and muscle weakness.  I had actually convinced myself that the only possible explanation was that I was pregnant.  I blamed this on my best friend and the allergy nurse at my office, who both had dreams in the last two weeks that I was pregnant.  Oh and also my mom, who keeps dropping unsubtle hints about a granddaughter.  So I sat in the bathroom on Sunday morning, listening to Cohen scream/cry to get out of his crib and hoping/praying that the pregnancy test I was staring at would say NO!

We spent a family day at home on Saturday and Cohen played so hard that he actually climbed up in my lap (with the "dibbie" that I gave in a let him have) and fell asleep at 6:00 in the evening.  This has NEVER happened! 

I am actully awake in this picture... but try to remember that I had a virus!!

I had recovered from my virus by Sunday and Cohen had lots of energy to spare, so we took him to an indoor inflatable play center.  His smile was huge as soon as we walked through the door and he couldn't run fast enough.  He started in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toddler area, but soon moved on to bigger and better things. 

The perfect ending to our day was ice cream....and hearing my baby say ice cream for the first time!!  Oh and that negative preganancy test!!

Making momma proud!

The week that was... (January 2-9, 2012)

While my previous post stated that my New Years Resolution would be one post per month, I've decided to up my game and aim for one per week.  While I was just going to use the blog to help me remember the funny things that Cohen does and says, I figure that at this point he probably does enough funny things in a week that I should share my entertainment with everyone.  I'll include the less exciting details from his parents' lives as well!

Per usual, it was two weeks past Christmas and I was still sorting through all of our Christmas presents and trying to find a place for all the new things.  It's a "probelm" that I'm grateful for because it just reminds me how blessed we are to have two big extended families who love us so much.  I think everyone was sad to see the Christmas decorations get taken down in our house...Cohen did not want to part with all of his Christmas books and is still asking for the train that went under the tree!  Luckily he got a new book to replace the others...his family in Virginia gave him a recordable Cars book for Christmas.  We have a tantrum when the book gets closed at night and he has demanded to take it with him in the car at least one day this week!

Since Jeff has a big weight loss goal for 2012, WE are healthy eaters again!  Luckily, I survived caffeine withdrawl after hitting the Dr. Pepper hard for the last 2-3 months!  Jeff tells me daily how much he hates being on a diet, but depending on the scale he is using he has already lost five pounds.  We had to have our first cheat day on Wednesday though, so we could eat wings from Hooters while we watched the WVU game...it felt worth it after the big victory.  And I'm proud to say that this mom made it all the way to the end of the third quarter before falling asleep!  We rejoined the gym (after only a two year hiatus for me, lol) and aside from his break on Wednesday, Jeff worked out three days last week.  I worked out with a personal trainer for the first time tonight and I will just say that I am glad I lived to write this blog.  Hopefully I'll physically be able to get off the couch to make it to the bed when I'm done!

Cohen started 2012 off with an injury...I hope that isn't a preview of what's to come.  He got a toy called a Scoot and Zoom for Christmas from his Aunt Manda.  It basically looks like a red plastic saddle that sits on wheels...when you push it on the hardwood floors it moves like its on ice - hence the "zoom" I guess!  Cohen's responsible parents thought it would be fun for him if we pushed him back and forth between us down the hallway...and he did love it...until the "accident."  During a "zoom," he tried to put his feet down which caused him to do a mega faceplant as in face to floor.  Luckily his lip caught him...fail.  He had an immediate fat lip with lots of blood.  The lip was so fat that I couldn't even see his front teeth, but Jeff said they were still there.  Jeff's sweet tooth actually saved the day because he had just insisted on buying popsicles at the store which helped a little with the swelling.  Jeff thinks that Cohen might now attempt to injure himself just to get a popsicle!

We finished the first week of January playing outside...while I'm not complaining, it didn't feel right to be blowing bubbles in January!!  Especially when I just bought Cohen a snow sled, snowsuit and snow boots for Christmas!  This may be the only use we get out of the sled this year:

Cohen was happy regardless, although he was a little confused as to why we couldn't get out his pool!  Luckily he got distracted by our shadows that he was very interested in...and all the other things there are to do outside like riding in his car, throwing the basketball and climbing on the wooden jungle gym in the yard.  We also went to church on Sunday, which we have been meaning to do for months.  Since Cohen's naptime is 11:00 (church time), this took some serious planning and everything finally fell into place this Sunday.  It was our first time at the church and Cohen's first time in the nursery there.  I stayed in the nursery with Cohen and we were happy to see our neighbor and her little girl there.  Cohen was very interested in all the toys in the nursery, but mostly just watched the other kids.  He didn't pay much attention to me so I should be able to leave him next week so he can make some friends!

So we have already covered two of our family's resolutions:  healthy eating/working out/weight loss and responsible blogging.  I also plan to make some serious hair changes this year, but those who know me well have heard this all before.  I also have a big goal of starting a scrapbook for Cohen, with pictures and other memories that I've kept since before he was born.  I haven't heard Jeff make an official statement about his resolutions but I would guess it goes something like "fish more and hunt more!"  I know he also has big goals and lots of work planned for FYAO, the business he owns with two of his friends.  And of course there's always the garage that needs cleaned and the pool I want for our yard, and so many other things we could do to the inside and outside of our house.  I think the main goal for 2012 is the same one we have every year:  have fun and spend as much time as possible with our family and friends.  I'll end this insanely long blog with a few of what I believe to be Cohen's resolutions for 2012:

Try new things

Try more new things...mostly junk food (from my dad)!

Watch my weight...literally!  Also work on my six pack!

Do more reading

Be awesome

Howie basically invented awesome!!

Cohenese

So at this point, I'm not even sure that you can refer to this as a blog since I am now averaging one post every THREE months!!!  But in my last (first and only) post, I promised not to post anything "unless it's really good"...and so as promised, I have more funny stories from my sweet little comedian!

The title Cohenese (which Jeff read and pronounced as Cohenesis...he thought it was hilarious but I'm not sure what that would even mean) refers to my son's current vocabulary.  I have convinced myself that my child is so gifted and finds the English language so dull and boring that he has created his own words and phrases.  Below is the "Rosetta Stone" for Cohenese!

Da-Da Baby:  Cohen no longer refers to Jeff as just "da-da"...he is now formally known as Da-Da Baby which I think has evolved from Da-Da B.  This would be extremely cute if not for the fact that he refers to me as Ma-Ma No.  I feel that this has some sort of reference to our parenting methods!

Co-Co = Cohen...Of course.  Despite my best efforts Cohen has embraced the nickname that his dad and grandpa have given him.  Every time I hear Co-Co I think about the gorilla who learned sign language.  Jeff has since educated me about a wrestler from the 1980s named KoKo B. Ware.  And so now when I ask my child what his name is and he says Co-Co, this is the image that flashes in my head:

Habbie = Howie...Cohen stays with Jeff parents four days a week and they have a crazy Pug named Abby.  Abby was one of Cohen's very first words and he often referred to me as Abby before he could say MaMa!  It really warms a mother's heart when her child refers to her and her dog by the same name, since poor Howie was called Abby as well.  This has since evolved from Abby to Habbie, however when prounounced it often sounds like Habib...our sweet Middle Eastern lab!

Diddy = Star...Blatantly obvious right?  This one has been ingrained in his vocabulary since at least nine months of age.  Jeff thinks it's logical because "P. Diddy is a star."  This is more a matter of opinion I feel.

See MoonADiddy = "I want to see moon and stars"....Just this weekend I've started to notice Cohen using a few two-word sentences - When pronounced in Cohenese, this sounds like two words although I guess on paper it's really more.  For Christmas, Cohen's MiMi got him a turtle that projects a moon and stars onto the ceiling and so See MoonADiddy (often abbreviated to just MoonADiddy) is basically his job these days!

Ho-Ho=Flower...You thought I was going to say Santa, huh?  This is ocasionally pronounced as O-Ho and can also refer to a feather that resembles a flower.

Ah-too=Snowman and Santa...This can be used interchangably to refer to either a snowman or Santa.  When pronounced it sounds somewhat like a sneeze and somewhat like a possible Indian name.

Ammie=Meow...No matter how many times he hears "meow," "ammie" is always what comes out.  When pronounced this sounds like a word that rhymes with grammy.

Dibbie=Pacifier...Since the first week of Cohen's life when I "accidentally" created a paci monster, I have refused to give the thing a cute name because I had hoped that it would lose its appeal.  But it remains Cohen's prized possession and he gave it the name Dibbie around the time of his first birthday.  This can also be pronounced as DB.

My advanced baby does find some of the English words to be acceptable, but likes to "remix" them as well.  He currently refers to a cat as a "kit-kit," a dog as a "pup-pup" and a car as a "car-car."  Ducks say "qak qak" and birds say "teet, teet."  Here's some rare live footage of Cohenese...you may need to refer back to this list for translation:

Just like three months ago, Cohen is still keeping us smiling.  If I blogged every time he made me laugh out loud, I'd never have time to do anything else...and this is how I excuse the neglect of my blog!!  New Years Resolution = one blog per month!!

Hot Baby

So I can see how the title of the blog could be misleading and I guess some people could be diappointed if they end up here accidentally!!  Since my life basically revolves around my baby boy, I imagine that most of my posts will be about the funny things he does and says and "hot baby" is just one of them...but more about that later!  The people who know me best can tell you that one of my best, worst and most annoying qualities is the fact that I am a perfectionist.  Unfortunately, I fall short in the area of technology and computers so the fact that I would even attempt a blog is almost ridiculous!  So I'll do my best and those of you who "follow" my blog will either get to laugh at my posts or laugh at my lack of computer skills...either way I hope you laugh!  Those who follow my blog will need to have a few qualifications....mainly spare time and patience.  I tend to ramble and I warn you that I remember seeing red ink on many papers and projects in school with the words "be more concise" or "too wordy."  In real life, I am a very quiet person - I'm not a fan of people who talk just to hear themselves talk and I would rather wait until I have something really good to say.  So just like in real life, I promise not to post anything unless it's really good - it might take me awhile to get to it, but there will always be a point and so it will hopefully be worth the wait.  And obviously my very first post is a good example!!

So back to that one hot baby!  Since Cohen was born 17 months ago, my days, minutes and seconds have consisted of finding ways to make him smile and laugh.  He is now beginning to return the favor because there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't make us smile and laugh!  In my book, this means that we are raising him right because I consider these to be two of the most important things in life.  I rarely take anything seriously...I do not believe in "drama"...I can't stand Eyore from Winne the Pooh...I was voted "Prettiest Smile" in my senior class...one of my favorite quotes of all times is from Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias:  "Smile - it increases your face value."  So following in my footsteps, here are some of the ways that Cohen is currently make us smile....

"Hot baby":  Cohen stays with Jeff's parents four days a week.  When Cohen tries to touch things that could burn him like the stove, Jeff's mom says "hot burn the baby."  Cohen has abbreviated this to "hot baby" which he now says many times a day...things like pots on the stove, nuggets out of the microwave and the bath water are all "hot baby!"

"Da-da" confusion:  For a few months now, Cohen has referred to any man that he encounters as "da-da."  This had included Cee-Lo Green, a Neo-Nazi on Gangland and, most recently, Taye Diggs.  You can imagine how awkward this "da-da" confusion can be in public when Jeff is not with us!  Besides being unsure as to who is "real" da-da is, Cohen now seems to be confused as to what he should call Jeff.  This week he has started calling him "Da-Da B," which at times is also pronounced as "Dadaby" and sounds similar to wallaby.  We really have no idea where this came from or what it means, but I told Jeff that it's because Cohen has another da-da and his name is "Da-Da A"....Jeff was not amused!!

I hope you'll stay tuned for more funny stories from my sweet little comedian!